In 1992, Kenneth Thomas published a book that described the 5 approaches to conflict management. They can be seen in the image below from Lumenlearning.com.
On the vertical axis, concern for self is presented, and increases from bottom to top. Dan Ebener indicates this is how assertive you are in your own interests (concern for task). On the horizontal axis, concern for others is presented, and increases from left to right. Ebener indicates this is how cooperative you are in helping the other party meet their interests (concern for relationship).
When we compete, there is a high concern for our interest and a low concern for the other party. Our goal is to defeat the other party by proving they are wrong, and our view is correct. We seek to force a solution to impose our will on the other party. This results in a “winner” and a “loser” and is probably the most common approach people take to conflict management.
Conversely when we accommodate, there is a high concern for the other party’s interest and a low concern for our own. We let the other person get what they want by just capitulating to all demands. We play down the conflict to seek harmony among the parties at our own expense. There can be varied reasons behind this, such as wanting others to like you or just not having a strong position on the conflict.
The third approach is to avoid. In this case, there is a low concern for both our interest and that of the other party. We refuse to engage in any effort to address the conflict. In fact, we may deny the existence of conflict or choose to do nothing about it and actually hide our true feelings. Many people may consider avoidance as conflict prevention but that is not the case as it can be destructive. This can lead to passive-aggressive behavior which can damage the relationship.
When engaged in a conflict, most individuals seek to resolve it by compromising. This is a process where both parties enter into negotiation where they seek gains but understand that they must be willing to lose some things in the resolution as well. Although this may be an acceptable outcome and at times, the only solution it is not the optimal resolution to conflict.
Collaboration is considered to be the optimal resolution to conflict. In this case, there is a high concern for both our interest and that of the other party. You are seeking a solution that meets each other’s needs and allows both parties to have a strong acceptable outcome. When collaborating, you are assertive about the task but have concern about the relationship and seek to be cooperative.
While collaboration may be the optimal approach it is important for a leader to be aware of all the ways to handle conflict. Although the needed approach may vary and be situational, certain team members may have a dominant style. This may need to be addressed if it is having a negative impact on team dynamics.