Yes, these are the words heard in a popular Christmas song, but they are also valuable advice for you as a leader. In our last post, we covered psychometric models, sometimes called personality tests. These are excellent tools to provide you with an “internal view” – how you see yourself.
Just as important, however, is the “external view” – how others see you. This is critical because multiple perspectives are always important to get the full picture. Others are likely to see you more objectively and this could be different than how you see yourself. This type of information is often referred to as “360 feedback”.
I remember the first time I participated in this type of exercise. I was shocked by the results and could not believe that others saw me so differently than the way I perceived myself. This was a valuable lesson in that it helped me to make some small changes which had a big impact on my leadership style.
“Perception may not be the ultimate truth, but it is what people use to make decisions”. This important quote comes from A Pastor’s Toolbox 2, edited by Paul A. Holmes. This is an excellent resource and highly recommended. Obviously, people will react and respond to you based on their impression of you, not your impression of yourself. First impressions can have long term implications on a relationship.
Serenity Gibbons wrote “You and Your Business have 7 Seconds to Make a First Impression” on Forbes.com (June 19, 2018). https://www.forbes.com/sites/serenitygibbons/2018/06/19/you-have-7-seconds-to-make-a-first-impression-heres-how-to-succeed/#5593e7b856c2Seven seconds! She went on to say that some characteristics such as trustworthiness, can be determined in as little as 0.1 second. We will talk more about first impressions in a future post. For now, just realize the importance of other’s perspective of you on your relationship with them.
Getting formal feedback from others is critical to your development as a leader. I stress formal feedback because informal feedback may be less candid and tends to be more positive or skewed.
So, let’s look at obtaining feedback. First, who should you seek feedback from? The short answer is everyone, but that is not practical on a formal basis. It is recommended that you seek formal feedback from 5-7 people. This should be a diverse group of relationships, not just good friends or close co-workers. It is often helpful to include one person who you think may not like you, as this may be the most candid feedback.
Such feedback should be obtained on a regular basis – perhaps every six months or even more frequently, if you are trying to change some specific aspect of your behavior. Finally, how should such feedback be obtained? There are several standard means of doing this which generally include anonymous forms or online surveys. This allows the person providing the feedback to be more honest and open.
In our next post we will go into more detail and provide recommendations as to how to accomplish this.