We will return to the topic of people pleasing in the future but due to the current global pandemic and its impact on our church/parishes this post will continue to focus on the general topic of leadership during times of crisis.
Author Jim Collins, in his book Good to Great made reference to the Stockdale Paradox. Vice- Admiral Stockdale was held in horrible conditions as a prisoner of war in the infamous Hanoi Hilton during the Viet Nam war. He survived despite brutal, inhumane conditions. When questioned regarding his coping strategy during his period in the Vietnamese POW camp he said, “I never lost faith in the end of the story, I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade. This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Many of us are facing situations that we thought would be unimaginable just a few short months ago. No Sunday Masses, churches closed, no Eucharist, parishioners and staff angry, frustrated and disappointed. Many may even feel abandoned. And the end, or an answer, does not appear to be close at hand.
It is at times like this when others will turn to you for guidance, comfort and reassurance. It can feel overwhelming and difficult to manage on top of all your other responsibilities in running the parish and serving others. You may feel like you just want to withdraw. It is just the opposite of what you must do.
To learn from the Stockdale paradox, we must balance optimism with reality. They must see your confidence that we will prevail, balanced with the difficulty of the current reality. Your honesty (even if it is “I don’t know”) will be appreciated and respected more than unrealistic assessments or an attitude filled with despair and anxiety. Yes, we will eventually prevail but for now we must adapt.
It is important that you stay in touch with your staff and parishioners. Many are tech savvy so livestreaming Mass or Eucharistic adoration enables them to see a familiar reassuring face in an environment they have come to trust. Video chats from the rectory are a good way of reaching out in a friendly reassuring manner. If that is not possible, consider sending e-mails with updates on what is happening at the parish and include a reflection on the Gospel reading that day. Frequency should be at least a few times weekly.
These are difficult, unprecedented times but your actions now may be more important than ever in reassuring and even building the faith of your parishioners. They need to know that you may not have all the answers and certainly don’t have the cure, but you are there for them and through faith, like Stockdale, we will prevail.