We know that you must be very smart or you would never have made it through seminary training. After all, it is a very difficult course of study that requires not only intelligence but also perseverance and dedication. You would think that a high IQ would guarantee success in any field, especially the priesthood. But we can all cite examples of people we know who are incredibly smart but just can’t seem to get anywhere in life. For now, let’s assume that’s not you but please keep reading so you can help the other guy.
In an article from the website, Owlcation, https://owlcation.com/John Chancellor noted that a great deal of research estimates that IQ only accounts for about 20% of our success. A much higher percentage is related to our EQ or Emotional Intelligence.
Chris Meyers on Forbes.com (6/18/18) stated, “success in life is a matter of emotions, relationships and character.” In a similar fashion, the poet Maya Angelou has famously said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” I’m sure we all agree and can in fact cite people in our life who made us feel special.
Our minds can be divided into 2 parts – the emotional mind and the rational mind. In the past, the emotional mind was critical for survival. We needed to quickly assess a dangerous or threatening situation and react appropriately. Over time, our rational mind developed and began to play a prominent role in daily life.
Since our emotional mind tends to react more quickly, we need to learn to control that part of our mind. If we don’t, we will often make poor choices and bad decisions. In the same article previously mentioned, Chancellor said, “We can’t maintain healthy relationships unless we control our emotions, communicate constructively and understand the feelings of others.
Yes, it is not enough to understand and control your own emotions you also need to understand the emotions of friends and co-workers as well. As you hone your skills to become more empathetic you will find all your relationships getting better. This will make it easier for you to influence (not manipulate) behavior. You begin to better understand how to respond to others rather than reacting impulsively. You will know their likes and dislikes as well as their capabilities. This will help you to learn how to motivate others making them stronger team players.
The good news is that EQ can be developed and refined. A great resource is the book Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. If you don’t have the time to read the book there are great summaries online as well as many other informative articles.
As you have been following these posts you have come to understand the value of self -awareness and 360 feedback. These are effective tools to improving your EQ which will lead to stronger leadership skills.