We ended our last blog saying, “introverts can be great leaders but that does often come at a ‘price’”. What is the “price” to which we are referring? Paul Clark, a Christian pastor from the Church of the Nazarene in Connell, Washington, wrote an excellent article on this topic. https://www.seedbed.com/six-essential-practices-of-the-introverted-pastor/ In this article, he makes the following observation which is relevant to many Catholic pastors.
“Introverted pastors arrive in ministry to discover that the very qualities that helped them excel in academic preparation for ministry are a hindrance to the practice of ministry. The social requirements of pastoral ministry can be draining for introverts, and the reflective, quiet, thoughtful strengths of the introvert are often dismissed as inactivity, or simply out of place in a world that values noise over content.”
The “price” introverts can pay, if they don’t pay attention to their own needs, is burnout. As we have repeatedly stated the daily demands on a parish priest can be emotionally and physically exhausting. For the majority of priests who are introverted, the expectations of the congregation can further complicate the already difficult position. Our world tends to value extroverts, and this extends to the “perfect pastor” as well. You may be expected to be outgoing, gregarious and always available when this is just not who you are.
Pastor Clark reminds clergy that we make a mistake if we forget or minimize our strengths pretending to be who we are not. Be yourself! As we pointed out previously, there are many benefits to being an introvert. Some of these skills are critical to effective ministry. For example, your natural tendency to be an active and engaged listener, as well as your ability to interact so effectively in one-on-one situations are often more valued than you may realize. Living your strengths with integrity is much more valued than pretending to be someone you are not.
Personal days off and “mini-retreat” days are critical to recharge. This can be as simple as going for an extended drive in solitude, a quiet walk in nature, a visit to a public library in another town or even a day at a local retreat center. The time in solitude is critical, but so easy to dismiss. “My schedule won’t permit it” is dangerous because without this your schedule will eventually destroy your well-intentioned over booked ministry.
It is also important for parishioners to see you in solitary prayer. This could be in a chapel at adoration or quietly seated in the church. It will serve as a good role model and they will eventually understand and respect the positive impact this time has on you and your ministry.
Finally, try to find at least one like-minded colleague. Pastor Clark meets with two colleagues once a month for breakfast. He states the fellowship is valued even with long silences between them that are understood, appreciated and never awkward.
Virtual communities, such as https://introvertdear.com/, are also a good way to interact and learn from fellow introverts from all walks of life.