Our last few posts have focused on building credibility as a leader. It is important for everyone, especially a leader, to fit in. You cannot lead effectively if you are seen as an outsider. While people are generally excited by new leadership and the opportunities that are associated with that leader’s vision there may be some who are uncomfortable, or even worse, threatened.
If such a person exists on your team it can be a real test of your leadership. How you manage that can have a much broader impact. If not dealt with in an effective manner, that individual can have a toxic effect on the broader team. This could, by extension, impact your credibility and your ability to lead effectively going forward. In an excellent article on this topic, https://randomactsofleadership.com/how-to-build-respect-in-a-team-dealing-with-difficult-team-members/ , Susan Mazza offers some relevant advice.
First, though it might be easy to get frustrated, stay positive and don’t get caught up in their negativity. Try to stay rational and maintain a level-headed disposition. Responding in anger will only further complicate the situation.
Next, focus on the root cause of the problem; what is behind their dissatisfaction. Carefully and purposefully observe what they are reacting to and how they respond to that stimulus. Are they always upset about a certain person, another team member, a particular aspect of their job, you personally, or some other consistent issue?
It might be tempting to ignore the problem in the hopes it will go away. Unfortunately, in most cases, this will only make it worse. Allow them to talk, preferably in private meetings with you, so that it does not become a distraction to others. Assure them that you are listening and engaged because, if possible, you’d like to help resolve their concerns in a manner that best serves the team.
Find out if they have any suggestions to help resolve the “issue”. If their suggestions are reasonable, they can be brought to the others on the team for consideration and discussion, if the suggestions can impact them. This sense of working together and being heard may change their disposition in a favorable manner.
If the suggestions do not fit your vision, seem unreasonable or too difficult, that should be addressed right away with the individual. Thank them for their candor and fully explain your reasoning for not being able to accommodate their concern as they suggest. It is important that you be objective and not let your emotions interfere here. This is obviously difficult. If you need more time to process this perhaps you can discuss with a trusted, uninvolved confidante to be sure you are responding in a rational and measured manner.
There may be instances where the difficult team member cannot be satisfied. If it is related to their role or function, perhaps you can invite them to consider moving to a new position that might be more appropriate for their skills and/or personality. If it is a personal issue, or one that can not be resolved, you should consult diocesan offices to follow appropriate procedures for terminating that employee.