We have stressed in numerous previous posts that one of the most important things you can do as a leader is to establish trust with those you interact. This holds true for communicating as well. What are some ways you can assure that your communication is seen as trustworthy? The Center for Creative Leadership http://ccl.org/ has many excellent online learning resources for leaders. One of their articles entitled, Why Communication is So Important for Leaders, offers some advice on communicating to establish trust.
Sometimes, especially right after ordination, we can take on a new persona. In an effort to seem more mature or better educated we change our speech. We may try to sound like a highly eloquent, extremely pious priest. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with that if that is who you are and always have been. But if it is not authentically you, people will begin to see through the “disguise”. Susan Tardanico, a leadership expert, http://www.authenticleadershipalliance.com/ is quoted in the article as saying, “Forget about eloquence – worry about being real. People want real. People respect real. People follow real. Don’t disguise who you are. People will never willingly follow a phony.”
In the article from CCL referenced above, the authors offer additional advice to enhance your credibility as a trustworthy leader. Say what you mean. Being a priest is a very difficult job. It is not always easy to be so direct. You need to balance many complicating factors in speaking with staff and parishioners. Having said that, simple, straight forward communication is usually most effective. It should not be overly complex or intentionally obtuse to avoid potential confrontation.
Tone, body language and content should not be perceived as harsh but should be honest and straight forward. This is often a blind spot for many of us. We can easily see when others are being inconsistent, but usually miss it in ourselves. As an example, consider the word “really.” That same word can be said with excitement, as a question, sarcastically, in anger or to emphasize a point just shared. What changes in communicating this one word? It is our tone of voice and our body language.
We can often say a lot without speaking a word. In establishing trust with others, your behavior and actions must be consistent. If they hear you saying one message, but your behavior is sending a different message their mind will quickly pick up on this disconnect. Once that happens it starts to raise questions on authenticity. Most people will forgive and understand if this happens once or twice. More than that and it begins to raise questions about your intentions, honesty and authenticity. That is difficult to reverse; it is much easier to prevent that by regularly aligning your actions and your words.
Another critical piece in establishing a trusting relationship is for the other party to feel they are being listened to and heard. We will focus on this more in our next post.